took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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