In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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