A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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