A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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