Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Dead girls can't say no.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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