Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops