- Anti Joke

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

quantum physics?

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.