What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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