A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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ajkswhfuilafhgkfdgbluft

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Donald Trump

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops