took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Lil Wayne

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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Yes

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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