Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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