What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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