What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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