A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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