What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops