human centipede

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=3

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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