- Anti Joke

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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