Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops