A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

thumb_up thumb_down -20

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -22

there once was a chicken it was yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops