Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops