what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down -4

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops