A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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