How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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