Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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