What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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