Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops