whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -26

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops