How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops