What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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