Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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