I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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