I just threw up..In my pants.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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p

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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