A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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human centipede

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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