What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Your mom is so old she died

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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