Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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