Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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