Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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