For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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