a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops