Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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