What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops