What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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