A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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