Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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