So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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Hello penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops