I went to work today....

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops