You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

thumb_up thumb_down +11

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I had friends on the Death Star.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops