Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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I went to work today....

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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