Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bar walks into a man

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops