How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Roses are red Im adopted

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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