- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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