Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a jew!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops