Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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